The gift I didn’t give

Hello blog readers,
Today I dropped the ball — and God found another way to handle His business. Right now, I’m sitting back — thankful for Him allowing me to witness His sovereignty — and also disappointed that I wasn’t obedient to what I was being led to do.

I had a birthday about 2 weeks ago, and I was given a gift certificate to a restaurant. For the past couple weeks, I’ve been thinking about this new savings plan I’m contributing to. I set a goal to save more – and I’m pretty excited to meet the goal. When my son and I got inside the restaurant, I saw two of my former high school classmates sitting together. I gave them both hugs and greeted them before being seated at my table. Before the waitress came to take our order, a thought came to mind, “I should call their waiter over and tell her to bring me their bill.”  It was a quick, subtle thought. It wasn’t pressing. It didn’t weigh heavily on my heart. It would have been really kind.

Instead of me calling the waiter over, I thought about my savings plan. How was I going to meet that goal if I don’t save, save, save? I was using a gift card, so technically I wasn’t spending anything to eat out. I tried to dismiss the thought of paying for their meal. Besides, I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. How spiritually immature of me to talk myself out of doing a kind and loving thing for someone.

After paying my bill, there were about 10 dollars remaining on the gift card. Again, I got another thought, “Give them the remaining balance on the gift card.”  And again, I talked myself out of it thinking, “I don’t have cash for a tip. So if, I give the waiter a tip from the balance, that will only leave about 4 dollars on the card — and I’ll feel silly giving them $4 towards their food..” So I told the waitress she could have whatever was left on the card. I waved goodbye to both of them as my son and I left. Neither one knew that twice in that restaurant, God tried to get me to give them something. I wanted to believe they were my own thoughts. I could set MY thoughts aside, because they weren’t in line with my “savings plan”.

When I got home, I saw on social media that one of the women posted on Facebook about her dinner experience. She posted pictures with a caption saying that while she was at dinner, she bumped into a former faculty member from high school. After a conversation, the faculty member reached into her purse and gave my classmate money to pay for their meal. She ended the post by telling her cousin — the woman she was dining with — to keep fighting. According to her cousin’s Facebook page, she is being treated for breast cancer.  How spiritually immature of me to talk myself out of doing a kind and loving thing for someone.

God’s blessing for those women was not stopped because I didn’t obey. He used someone else. I’m not ok about it. I’m very ok with Gd blessing my classmates. I’m not ok about not listening to that whisper. I was supposed to do something, and I didn’t. I put myself before His desire for me to give. I don’t know what God is up to.. but I want to be in the center of His will. I ask Him for forgiveness. Those women have a gift card for dinner coming their way.

If you have the smallest, faintest impulse to do something kind, loving, good – do it.

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” Phil 2:13

With love


One response to “The gift I didn’t give”

  1. Charlene says :

    Great read 🙂 Beautifully written


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